The Fried Dough Ho

My last meal at The French Laundry was over two years ago. But my memory of their Coffee and Doughnuts offering rings as the benchmark against which all other haute cuisine restaurants’ doughnuts must aspire to. Reservations for The French Laundry are some of the most difficult to acquire. The meal lasted well over six hours and was more than twenty courses. And yet now — after all this time — what do I remember most? The white truffle supplement (because the truffle was larger than a billiard ball) and the Coffee and Doughnuts.

You must understand, it is not ordinary coffee which is served with this perfection of golden fried dough, but a coffee pot de crème topped with a light cream foam. And the doughnut? Warm, yes. Lightly dusted with Baker’s Sugar (a bit finer in texture than its Granulated Sugar counterpart). A miniature doughnut hole nestled perfectly atop its ringed cousin. The dough is rich and moist and cakey. In a word, Perfect. The roundness of the doughnut was Perfect. The doughnut hole was Perfectly round. It was not served too hot, nor too cold. There was not too much sugar on it, nor was it too sweet.

Rumor has it that this is no longer a standard offering on the tasting menus, but must be requested. I can’t confirm that but if you go, you should make sure to ask about it as in their famous Salmon Cornets, it is a classic French Laundry offering which should not be missed, even if it is not on the menu.

And to my great joy and bliss, I was sent home with a small box of doughnut holes… Because that is what they do at The Laundry: They make their customers as happy as they can…

6640 Washington Street
Yountville, CA 94599
(707) 944-2380

In the French language, Trompe-l’œil means to fool the eye. Personally, I am big fan of Trompe-l’œil as an art form. I have practiced it myself — painting a living room ceiling blue with fluffy clouds giving the appearance of a lovely Spring day with the naked sky above me. I learned it as a decorating motif, making the eye see more space than really exists. There are very famous renditions of Trompe-l’œil in the art world, including the modern Carlo Marchiori and his muralist haven, Ca’Toga in Calistoga.

And there is a slight sense of irony that I experienced a little Trompe-l’œil moment at San Francisco’s Coffee Bar. Located in an area in SoMa (South of Market, for those you unfamiliar with our neighborhoods), I had just finished a painting lesson when I settled in at the upstairs bar which looks down upon the workers. I am a metalsmith by training and I had been taking painting lessons from Chris Leib to expand my repertoire.

I spied the dark brown, cinnamon-studded morsels in the pastry case and ordered one alongside a latté. I have to say, it was one damn-fine latté. The “doughnut,” however, was not a doughnut at all. My eye had been tricked by its size, demeanor, and gorgeousness. This hunk of dough had not been fried, but baked. It was dry and leaden and crumbly. It was probably vegan (although I have had some very good vegan pastries) in its attempt to be HEALTHY. Apparently the Coffee Bar gets their pastries (or at least this one) from Jasmine Rae Bakery, but here was an attempt to make something decidedly unhealthy less so. Sadly, it didn’t quite succeed in even being a good baked good. Very crumbly and the consistency of the classic Dolly Madison crumb cake but with so much cinnamon as to burn the mouth.

1890 Bryant St
(between 17th St & Mariposa St)
San Francisco, CA 94110
Neighborhood: Mission
(415) 551-8100

After the long, wet winter, an early Spring Sunday brought about a lovely brunch with Dave and Gina at the San Francisco’s Fillmore District restaurant, Elite Cafe. This was a very special day in so many ways. You see, Darling Gina is the bad-ass, leather-clad, motorcycle-mamma, hot-chick who helped me craft the too-cool-for-words banner you see here at Fried Dough Ho. When I initially came up with the name, I had an idea that a 1950s Burlesque Queen would represent the sultry sauciness of my fried-dough-whoredom, brainstorming that someone like Tempest Storm or Blaze Starr could be Photoshopped with doughnuts masking her attributes. Well it was Gina who thought to go back a few years early and look at the Ziegfeld Girls and when I stumbled on the image of the lovely Evelyn Groves holding a giant hoop, I knew that her naked naughtiness would be the perfect representation of demure and enticing as she grasps the cakey goodness. So here’s a shout-out to Gina!

I like the brunch at Elite Café because of their New Orleans-inspired dishes; shrimp and grits for breakfast can’t be beat. They also have these home-made biscuits that I swear have crack cocaine in them. Even the servers call them Crack Biscuits. And their skillet-served corned beef hash with poached eggs is pretty darn good too. But one of the specialties that invokes New Orleans are their beignets and miniature doughnut holes. The holes come warm and fresh, about a dozen morsels in a small bowl, each less than an inch in diameter, dusted with granulated sugar and cinnamon. They are very addictive and must be eaten while still fresh and warm. Once cold, they lose their charm. At $2.75 a bowl, these should be ordered as you sit down and peruse the menu (along with a Kir Royale or spicey Bloody Mary). 

Elite goes full force with its NoLa menu and no New Orleans knock-off would be worth its salt without a beignet. At $2.00 each, this is where Elite falls short, I’m afraid. Approximately 2″ x 3″ and heavily dusted with powdered sugar, these are heavy and laden and on several occasions, still doughy and gummy inside (as in these pictures). Instead of light and fluffy and addictive, one bite of this door stop was enough for me. Go to Elite Café, yes, but stick to the holes and the biscuits!

2049 Fillmore St
(between California St & Pine St)
San Francisco, CA 94115
Neighborhoods: Pacific Heights, Lower Pac Heights
(415) 346-8400