The Fried Dough Ho

My last meal at The French Laundry was over two years ago. But my memory of their Coffee and Doughnuts offering rings as the benchmark against which all other haute cuisine restaurants’ doughnuts must aspire to. Reservations for The French Laundry are some of the most difficult to acquire. The meal lasted well over six hours and was more than twenty courses. And yet now — after all this time — what do I remember most? The white truffle supplement (because the truffle was larger than a billiard ball) and the Coffee and Doughnuts.

You must understand, it is not ordinary coffee which is served with this perfection of golden fried dough, but a coffee pot de crème topped with a light cream foam. And the doughnut? Warm, yes. Lightly dusted with Baker’s Sugar (a bit finer in texture than its Granulated Sugar counterpart). A miniature doughnut hole nestled perfectly atop its ringed cousin. The dough is rich and moist and cakey. In a word, Perfect. The roundness of the doughnut was Perfect. The doughnut hole was Perfectly round. It was not served too hot, nor too cold. There was not too much sugar on it, nor was it too sweet.

Rumor has it that this is no longer a standard offering on the tasting menus, but must be requested. I can’t confirm that but if you go, you should make sure to ask about it as in their famous Salmon Cornets, it is a classic French Laundry offering which should not be missed, even if it is not on the menu.

And to my great joy and bliss, I was sent home with a small box of doughnut holes… Because that is what they do at The Laundry: They make their customers as happy as they can…

6640 Washington Street
Yountville, CA 94599
(707) 944-2380

I wish I could take credit for this photograph. The image is a well known sculpture in Seattle entitled Black Sun, dated 1969, by Isamu Noguchi. It is located across from the Seattle Art Museum and is considered one of the “most touched, caressed, and fondled pieces of public art in Seattle.”

And the sculpture is of a giant doughnut. It is reputed that the rock band, Soundgarten, wrote the song Black Hole Sun based on this sculpture. Most people line up the Space Needle through the hole and while I took a picture during my recent visit, mine is not nearly as gorgeous as this, taken by Sunrisesoup.

So I will let you contemplate this stunning photograph of a pretty fantastic piece of art. Here’s what it looks like without the mist:

In the French language, Trompe-l’œil means to fool the eye. Personally, I am big fan of Trompe-l’œil as an art form. I have practiced it myself — painting a living room ceiling blue with fluffy clouds giving the appearance of a lovely Spring day with the naked sky above me. I learned it as a decorating motif, making the eye see more space than really exists. There are very famous renditions of Trompe-l’œil in the art world, including the modern Carlo Marchiori and his muralist haven, Ca’Toga in Calistoga.

And there is a slight sense of irony that I experienced a little Trompe-l’œil moment at San Francisco’s Coffee Bar. Located in an area in SoMa (South of Market, for those you unfamiliar with our neighborhoods), I had just finished a painting lesson when I settled in at the upstairs bar which looks down upon the workers. I am a metalsmith by training and I had been taking painting lessons from Chris Leib to expand my repertoire.

I spied the dark brown, cinnamon-studded morsels in the pastry case and ordered one alongside a latté. I have to say, it was one damn-fine latté. The “doughnut,” however, was not a doughnut at all. My eye had been tricked by its size, demeanor, and gorgeousness. This hunk of dough had not been fried, but baked. It was dry and leaden and crumbly. It was probably vegan (although I have had some very good vegan pastries) in its attempt to be HEALTHY. Apparently the Coffee Bar gets their pastries (or at least this one) from Jasmine Rae Bakery, but here was an attempt to make something decidedly unhealthy less so. Sadly, it didn’t quite succeed in even being a good baked good. Very crumbly and the consistency of the classic Dolly Madison crumb cake but with so much cinnamon as to burn the mouth.

1890 Bryant St
(between 17th St & Mariposa St)
San Francisco, CA 94110
Neighborhood: Mission
(415) 551-8100

Here in San Francisco, in the vast display cases of the Starbucks empire, lie donuts. Bedecked in white frosting and glittering with sparkly, course, decorative sugar, these little 3″ offerings are beguilingly attractive. Offered in white and chocolate cake, their glistening covering is reminiscent of freshly fallen snow just before Christmas. They tease and they taunt; their white draping perfectly covering what anticipates to be a delectable and engaging treat.

Ah, if only it were to be… Well, it is entirely possible that they ARE, when fresh. Unfortunately, the two different times I have tried them, I have found these doughnuts to be dry and crumbly and the frosting to be too sweet; if you are going to sprinkle sugar all over the damn thing, you don’t need to make the frosting THAT sweet.

Now I know that different Starbucks in different regions source their baked goods from various bakeries. When I lived in Los Angeles, I had a serious addiction to a cinnamon twist that existed at a Starbucks near La Cienega Boulevard. Back then, I think many of the breads were also brought in from the famed La Brea Bakery. I even enjoy the Egg Salad Sandwiches from time to time. It is anyone’s best guess where these San Francisco Starbucks are getting their baked goods as they are wildly inconsistent. Sometimes I see Morning Bunz that look and taste amazing and other times, they are obviously from a different supplier.

Regardless, I think you should trust me on this accord; avoid their donuts.

Born 227 years ago, April 3, 1783 and died November 28, 1859. Author of noted works like The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Rip Van Winkle.

And, no doubt, you are asking yourself, “Why the heck do we care about Washington Irving on a site devoted to doughnuts?”

A very good question and the answer lies in his History of New York. Written  and published in 1809, it contains two of the earliest known recorded usages of the word “doughnut” in literature:

Sometimes the table was graced with immense apple-pies, or saucers full of preserved peaches and pears; but it was always sure to boast an enormas dish of balls of sweetened dough, fried in hog’s fat, and called doughnuts, or olykoeks – a delicious kind of cake – at present scarce known in this city, except in genuine Dutch families.

and

Every love-sick maiden fondly crammed the pockets of her hero with gingerbread and doughnuts; many a copper ring was exchanged, and crooked sixpence broken, in a pledge of eternal constancy: and there remain extant to this day some love verses written on that occasion, sufficiently crabbed and incomprehensible to confound the whole universe.

So, Happy Birthday Washington Irving! And thank you…